What To Do When Your Partner Refuses Therapy

As a couples counselor, there are times that I find that one member of the couple has reluctantly agreed to come to therapy. That person often feels nothing is wrong while the other partner is desperate for change. Sometimes there is danger in that the resistant partner will cancel or pull away from therapy.


What can you do when your partner refuses to go to therapy? You can still receive therapy for yourself. The processing, learning about your own strengths and weaknesses, and skills on handling life will be invaluable to you. You can also strengthen your family relationship just by experiencing change within yourself. Who knows your partner may see the change in you, then decide to come to therapy also.


Another thing you can do is as your visit your individual therapist; invite your partner for a visit. I often allow spouses to come in for a visit because it allows me to know and see my client from a different perspective. Hopefully the visit is a positive experience and may reduce the barriers to couples therapy.


Therapy is part of a process where we as therapists serve as collaborators and guides in helping you write your story and embrace your uniqueness. Whether single or married, one should embrace that journey. Hopefully, you and your partner will embrace the journey together.

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